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Styling and Inspiration + Handcrafted Designs

Baby & Family, Coffee with Cathy

Life After Losing Layne (6 Months)

Life After Losing Layne 6 Months Later / A Hosting Home Blog

Life After Losing Layne

It’s hard to believe that it’s already been 6 months since Layne was born. Part of me wonders how it’s possible that 6 months has already gone by. Meanwhile, the other part of me feels like it’s been an eternity longer. Life after losing Layne has been a roller coaster, to say the least. Grief is like the ocean. It comes in waves, ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it’s overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.

Some people read my posts about Layne and my journey through this season of grief, and they tell me how gifted I am with my writing. But, I have to admit to y’all that it’s not easy to click publish on any of it. I get quite uncomfortable at the thought of people reading it sometimes. Because this isn’t just a story filtered through the rose colored glasses of social media. This is real. This is raw. It’s straight from the heart unfiltered. The only thing that keeps me clicking publish is the wish that our story helps someone else who doesn’t have the same hope in Jesus that I have. As I’ve found these past 6 months as I’ve journaled through my grief, words can be healing. Red words, even more so.

If you’ve stumbled into my corner of the internet and you’re hopeless today, I pray that you’d know that it does get easier. The pain will never go away. But, you will learn to swim. 

READ ALSO: Life Lately | No. 07 – Layne Thomas’s Birth Story

Life After Losing Layne 6 Months Later / A Hosting Home BlogLife After Losing Layne 6 Months Later / A Hosting Home Blog

Life: 6 Months Later

I get a lot of awkwardly asked questions. Some people walk on egg shells around me. Which as an introvert makes me super uncomfortable knowing that people may be uncomfortable around me. I don’t blame anyone – I wouldn’t know how to ask either. They are afraid to ask. They are afraid to say his name. Bless their hearts, I know they just don’t want to upset me. Meanwhile, I already know what they want to know — how I’m doing, what I’m up to, when I’m going back to work, what’s next for us, etc. So if you’ve been wondering the same thing, I’m about to answer it all.

Spoiler alert: I have no idea most of the time.

How I’m Doing

Naturally, this is the most frequently asked question I get. However, it’s the most complicated one for me to answer. Here’s my thought process: In my mind, I know they’re asking – but at the same time I feel like they don’t really want to know. I feel awful even typing that. But it’s hard for me to explain to others how I’m doing who have never experienced what we’re walking through. To be completely transparent, there’s a lot of emotional guilt that I am still working through. Part of it is that I don’t want to burden anyone with how I’m feeling. It’s not that I think people don’t care. More so, it’s a weighted question. It’s just too heavy.

I don’t say any of that to discourage people from asking me how I’m doing. Rather, I just want people to know that everyday is completely different. In all honesty, every minute is completely different. Naturally, I still get triggered by things – and I notice that it happens more on days that I’m just mentally, physically, and spiritually tired.

If you see me out and ask me how I’m doing, I’ll tell you I’m doing okay. There may be some deeper things I’m working through. But overall, I really am okay. I promise. I’m okay because I have Jesus. In the grand scheme of things, that’s what really matters. This whole situation may suck, and I may hate it. But, He’s really enough. I am just focusing on picking up my cross daily and trusting Him with it all. Through that daily commitment, He’s given me a hope and peace that surpasses all understanding.

It’s just hard. But the Bible never said it would be easy.

P.S. I love talking about him

I know some people are afraid to mention his name. But please know that I do love talking about him. Just like any other mother with her baby, I am so proud of him. What happened to Layne was unfortunate – but it was real. While I sometimes wish the pain of it all would go away, I never want his memory or legacy to fade. I may cry, but I’d never get mad at anyone who wanted to talk about my baby. I love telling people about his red hair, his button nose, and his big feet. Even more so, I love talking about how God has already used my boy so much for His glory. (Talk about a proud momma!)

What I’m Up To

March 28th changed me as a person. The events of that day changed me down to my core. I’m not the same person I was just 6 months ago. God has stretched me past my limit (and then some), and I’ve grown and learned to lean on Jesus in a way that I never have before – and in a way that I never want to stop. While some days still trigger me and remind me just how broken this world is (and I am), I am reminded just how faithful God is, even in my darkest moments.

So as I walk through this journey, I am choosing to put aside the plans I had for myself (for the first time in my life) and walk each day by faith and not by sight. And while I don’t know what that will hold or what it will look like, I do know I am stronger than who I was – all because of Jesus.

“And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance: and perseverance, character: and character, hope.” – Romans 5:3

So during this season, I am focusing on myself – my mental, physical, and spiritual health. While I’ve been growing in my relationship with the Lord, I have also been working on my physical and mental health. My condition took an intense toll on my physical health, with part of it causing my body to swell SO much – leading to rapid weight gain. In order to get back to feeling like myself and to be the healthiest I can be for myself, my family, and (hopefully) our future family, I have been working with an amazing personal trainer who has already helped me in more ways than she’ll ever know.

Since the beginning of July, I’ve lost 24 pounds! I’ve still got some other health issues I’m dealing with that I may talk about more later, but I hope being active and eating clean will help put me on the right track.

A Hosting Home: What’s Next 

A lot of people have guessed this or have seen it subtly mentioned on my personal Facebook page. But I thought this would be the perfect time to officially address it.

Unfortunately, due to some chronic health issues stemming from my condition with Layne in the hospital, I have made the personal (and very emotional) decision to take a step back and no longer take on wedding planning clients. At this time, I need to focus on my overall health so I am able to be around for the long-haul for my family and loved ones.

God truly does work in mysterious ways. But while I don’t always understand His ways, I am able to trust His heart and who He is when I am unable to trace His hand. I have also always been able to trust that He’s walking with me and leading me in every season of my life – whether I think it’s good or tough. While my health is forcing me to take a step back, God has already proven so faithful that He wouldn’t “take something away” without leading me into something new. He has laid it on my heart that while my season in weddings specifically is coming to an end soon, He is taking the same passion and heart that I built my business on and leading me into something new that I truly believe He designed and purposed specifically for me.

Something new…

I hope to share with y’all soon what that means for A Hosting Home. But for right now, I am going back to my roots of where this whole journey started and focusing on my blog and my writing while partnering with some amazing brands. I’m not going anywhere! I have the feeling that this is just the beginning of a beautiful journey that God has in store for me.

Rob + Cathy: What’s Next

As for Rob and I, we are taking this time to focus on each other and helping one another walk through this grief journey. To be honest, getting back to a sense of ‘normal’ is the hardest thing about grief. I tell Rob it feels like you are stuck at a standstill while everything around you is moving like the fast-forward button on a VHS tape. Everyone around you goes back to their normal lives, but you’re stuck trying to figure out what that even means anymore. When you have plans built up in your mind and your calendars for so long and they suddenly change, it’s an adjustment. These past 6 months, we’ve been striving to find what our new normal looks like. In reality, it’s a lot of prayer and being patient to see what God has in store for us next.

 

To everyone who has walked alongside us these past 6 months, thank you. A million times thank you. Rob and I were completely humbled with thankfulness that so many friends, family members, and strangers came together to support us during our darkest moments. I still have a mountain of thank-you notes to write, but please know that every kind word, prayer, gift / gesture, meal, and hug did not go unappreciated. They truly helped us, pointed us to Jesus, and got us this far. We are truly blessed.

September 28, 2019

« 26 Things Life Taught Me Last Year
His & Hers JORD Wood Watches + a GIVEAWAY »

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Atlanta based Award Winning Interior and Event Designer and Home Blogger Cathy Nugent

Hi, friends! I'm Cathy, a nationally published award winning designer of spaces to gather and southern belle writer based out of a small(ish) town outside of Atlanta, Georgia. However, most people know me as the Monica Geller of my friend group – a coffee connoisseur and dog mom with a huge heart for hosting and an eye for design. The heart behind what I do is simple. I want to help you be intentional on creating spaces to gather and celebrating life's precious moments - whether that be weddings, parties, or something as simple as having loved ones in your home. Living Simply, Loving Generously, and Hosting with Heart.

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I’m so excited to have this little gallery wall I’m so excited to have this little gallery wall in our master bedroom done! 👏🏼✨ I’ve got big plans for making over our bedroom (ft. a huge board and batten wall) once little man transitions into his own room next month, but in the meantime I’m working on small touches like this one to make our bedroom more cozy. 

Did you catch my gallery wall tip on Stories today? My biggest tip for gallery wall photos if you’re having trouble picking them out due to different colors/editing/etc in each photo not flowing together 👉🏼 print your photos in black and white! I have a mixture of different photographers’ work as well as my own iPhone photos on the wall, and printing them in black and white helps them all flow together and look more cohesive. It’s such a simple tip that makes a big impact. I hope that helps you if you’re struggling putting together a gallery wall of your own! 💛 #ahostinghome

// linking the gallery wall frames from Amazon on the @liketoknow.it app ➡️ http://liketk.it/39QhW #liketkit @liketoknow.it @liketoknow.it.home #LTKhome
After ripping out our master bathroom shower inser After ripping out our master bathroom shower insert after Christmas due to a leak we discovered — and then facing the shower door debacle and life itself being busy, we are FINALLY getting things moving! (I also told Rob no more hunting trips until it got done. 🤪) Rob is building out a completely new shower, and we should be ready to lay the tile after tomorrow. Y’all know I can’t keep things secret to do big reveals, so I’m dying to share with y’all what I have picked out for the tile. Picture it with me: small hexagon tile for the floor, long subway tile walls (straight on the sides, herringbone along back wall), and penny tile in the niche — all with a light gray grout to tie in our marble tile bathroom floors and paired with black hardware. I’m SO excited to see it come together, I couldn’t help but lay it all out on my kitchen floor with the @ahostinghomepups and the baby to get a peek of it together. 😍 What do y’all think?  #ahostinghome

// linked my tile selections over on the @liketoknow.it app! ➡️ http://liketk.it/39mCg #liketkit @liketoknow.it.home #LTKhome
I was looking through my memories, and can y’all I was looking through my memories, and can y’all believe it’s already been a YEAR since I convinced Rob to let me put a thousand tiny nail holes in our living room wall? I really thought I’d regret it and want to change it after a while. But honestly, I still love it just as much as I did the day I did it. As we come up next month on two years since our son Layne passed away, the visual reminder of what this wall represents when it comes to our story is such a beautiful thing — I feel like it’s literally my heart on a wall, in the heart of my home. If you’ve been following me for a while , you know how much butterflies mean to my story with our son Layne. (If you’re new here, that’s okay! Our story is on my blog if you care to read.💛🦋) I was inspired by @cottonstem ‘s book wall once I got my hands on this @bffprintshop print. I thought having the Amazing Grace music flowing through the print would perfectly represent how worshiping God and running to Jesus has carried us through. && Now with our double rainbow baby here, I look at this wall daily as a reminder of the beautifully hard journey God took us on to bring him home. 🌈👶🏼 So if you’re afraid to put a thousand tiny nails in your wall, I hope you’ll take my advice and just do it. Put your heart on that wall. 💛 #ahostinghome

// p.s. I have a blog post on this sheet music wall if you need the tutorial! ➡️ ahostinghome.com and search ‘sheet music wall’ ✨
Um, can we talk about this beautiful weather tryin Um, can we talk about this beautiful weather trying to act like the whole south didn’t just freeze over last week? ☀️All I want to ask is if it can stay... like, really stay. Soaking it in today with bubs on our walk had me all ready for Spring and looking forward to getting outside in the sunshine and getting our porches ready for patio weather. (Can we skip pollen season though? Mother Nature can keep that mess. ✋🏼) Are you ready for Spring or are you holding onto the last bit of winter coziness? 🪴#ahostinghome
I am a super visual person when it comes to design I am a super visual person when it comes to designing spaces in my home, and I love using design boards as a way to actually plan out my projects. Not only does it help me get inspired for an upcoming project by letting me play with different looks and options. But they also really help me piece things together or ‘see’ what it’s going to look like — and make sure I’m really going to love it! Whenever I share my design boards for projects that I do around here at A Hosting Home, one of the most frequently asked questions I get is about how I make them! Making a design board is super easy, so fun, and it’s one of my favorite parts of planning out a project. Today on the blog, I thought I’d walk through the process to show you how you can make your own (for free!) Get the details ➡️ ahostinghome.com or click the link in my profile bio. ✨ #ahostinghome
This is turning into my favorite spot in little ma This is turning into my favorite spot in little man’s nursery. I moved the tall bookshelf over to make room to add this tiny bookshelf the other day, and I think it’s perfect for all those board books and little toys he’ll one day be grabbing for. We do all open ended style toys and no screens, so I really wanted to create a space for him to explore and discover. I can’t believe he’s already going to be 4 months old on Friday! The dude loves to play and is itching to be on the move already. I love watching him grow and experiencing the world through his eyes! 🤍✨ #ahostinghome 

// http://liketk.it/38Cqe #liketkit @liketoknow.it @liketoknow.it.home @liketoknow.it.family #LTKbaby #LTKkids #LTKhome #ltkfamily
Instagram: Reality: I have to now explain to my h Instagram: 
Reality: I have to now explain to my husband why our baby and rug are stained red...

Happy 1st Valentine’s Day from John Robert! ❤️💋 This little man of ours is so extremely loved from head to toe. I hope y’all are having an amazing weekend!

#ahostinghome // http://liketk.it/38n1a @liketoknow.it #liketkit @liketoknow.it.family #LTKVDay #LTKbaby
Fact. It’s Rob’s birthday! 🖤🤍🤎 The Of Fact. It’s Rob’s birthday! 🖤🤍🤎 The Office is Rob and I’s favorite show, and I think we’ve rewatched it through more times than I can count (especially over the last year with being stuck at home) — but we still laugh every single time. We had a low key evening tonight for his birthday because we have plans tomorrow afternoon, but y’all know me... I’m extremely extra, and I can’t ever keep anything TOO low key when it comes to celebrating! ✨ I had so much fun decorating our house for an Office themed birthday dinner! How cute did it turn out! SWIPE to see more (plus the reference for anyone who doesn’t watch The Office!) #ahostinghome 

// linked this Office themed party decorating kit I got from Amazon on the @liketoknow.it app! Under $20! 🙌🏼🎉 http://liketk.it/38g2t #liketkit @liketoknow.it.home #LTKunder50 #LTKhome #StayHomeWithLTK

#theoffice #theofficeus #theofficeparty #officethemedparty @msjennafischer @angelakinsey @mindykaling @johnkrasinski @rainnwilson
I don’t typically do a Valentine’s specific ta I don’t typically do a Valentine’s specific tablescape each year, but I still love this flirty and cute wildflower inspired tablescape I put together a couple years ago — I think it would be so cute for Valentine’s (or Galentine’s!) day! 💕

One of the questions that I get the most often when decorating with faux stems is how I make it all come together cohesively and look natural. My biggest tip for this would be to walk around and actually match stem colors as you are shopping! For example, when putting together floral for this tablescape, I literally walked up and down the floral bins at Hobby Lobby with those white daisies in my hand to see which stems had the same pale green look to match. If they matched, I pulled them out and put them aside. To make sure everything pieces together how I want it to before I drive all the way home, I literally walk up and down the floral aisles of Hobby Lobby and put everything together. I make mini bouquets from the stems I pulled to see how they would look together and to see exactly how many of each stem I would need. As a designer, I’m a very hands on and visual person. While I sometimes have a base plan going in, I like to play with it in person to see what gets me excited and how I could make it even better. ✨

For more tips about decorating with faux floral, I’ve got an entire post up on my blog! ➡️ ahostinghome.com and search ‘faux floral tips’ 🌸 #ahostinghome

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