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Styling and Inspiration + Handcrafted Designs

Weddings

Must-Have Conversations To Have Before You Start Wedding Planning

If there’s one thing for sure about getting engaged, it’s this:

  • You’re about to walk left-hand first everywhere you go.
  • You’ll also start touching your face excessively when you talk to people.
  • But, most importantly, you’re going to be beyond excited to get started with your wedding plans.

Not only do I speak as a certified wedding planner. But I also speak from experience. When I got engaged, I literally couldn’t wait to get started planning. This is partly due to the fact that Rob and I got engaged right before he spent the summer in Spain. It was the first time this attached-at-the-hip couple was going to be a part for any length of time. As a result, we locked down some of the essentials before he left since we planned on getting married the next summer. (Nothing could come in the way of football and hunting season!) That first few weeks of engagement consisted of booking a venue, securing a wedding date, and pinning more wedding pins than I thought possible.

Looking back, I somewhat regret rushing into a lot of the plans that we made out of excitement in the beginning. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely loved every detail of our wedding. It was truly beautiful and the best day of my life. However, Rob and I actually talked about it recently that, if we could do it all over again, we think our wedding day would look a lot different now. While we have only been married a year and a half, I think that’s natural as you mature and grow with one another. Not to mention, being around weddings for a career, it’s hard not to imagine your own wedding day in a million different ways on the daily.

Maybe one day if we decide to do a vow renewal. (Don’t worry, you’ll all be invited! 😉 )

Now, I need to clarify to all you that are reading this. We did actually have these must-have conversations before we started planning our wedding. Heck, I think we had a lot of these conversations before we even got engaged. While we had these conversations, the only thing we wish we would have done is just to have taken longer to consider our options and what we could have done.

Sweet as Honey Southern Wedding Inspiration, The Barn at Oak Manor Styled Shoot featured on The Perfect Palette, Atlanta Certified Wedding Planner

Long story short:

The point I’m trying to make is that so many other couples don’t communicate about this.

However, unfortunately, a lot of times I see couples so excited about planning their weddings that they fail to even really plan at all. (As a planner, I have a hard time even imagining this!) When it comes to planning your wedding, communication is key. In fact, communication is key to any relationship in general. These must-have conversations really serve as the foundation behind everything you’ll decide on over the next year or so.

Can you imagine how stressful planning would have been if Rob and I didn’t talk about what we wanted at the time? We spent half of our engagement long- distance. Imagine trying to make those kinds of plans and decisions while he’s out of the country. (or then after he moved to Georgia and I stayed behind in Texas!) Not to mention, can you imagine how disappointed one of us (or both!) would be not having the best day of our life because we didn’t communicate what our vision for the day was? (Oh, the hurt!)

Must-Have Conversations Before Wedding Planning

Not only will having these conversations make you both plan towards a wedding day that you’ve dreamed about. But, it will actually help decisions to flow so much easier throughout your whole planning process.

What kind of wedding do you want?

This is a huge and all encompassing question that should be among one of the first you have before you start making plans for your wedding. You should be asking each other about your feelings on the following details.

  • Location – Do you want a local affair or destination wedding? Also, if your families are from different areas, where will you guys decide to get married? With my family from north Texas and Rob’s family from south Texas, we decided to get married in the city we met and lived in at the time. It was somewhat of a central location for everyone to meet in the middle!
  • Time of Year – Have you been dreaming of a cozy, intimate fall or winter wedding or a bright and airy summer wedding outdoors?
  • Size – How big of a wedding do you want? How many people do you want on your guest list?
  • Aesthetic – What is the look and feel that you want your wedding day to have? Have you been dreaming of a luxurious ballroom wedding? Or does a more cozy and intimate gathering suit you both better?
  • Expectations – What expectations do you each have about your wedding day?

What is your budget?

When it comes to planning your wedding, your budget is the necessary evil. It’s like the four letter word that your grandma washed your mouth out for with a bar of soap. While a wedding budget is extremely necessary to make sure you don’t go into debt over your wedding, we’d all prefer to play without it. It’s important to make sure that you rationalize the wedding you dream of having with the one that you can actually afford.

Sit down and have a realistic conversation about how much you’d like to spend on your wedding before you start planning. I even suggest that couples break it down by category and vendor. (Another reason to hire a wedding planner – they do this for you!) Not only will it make planning easier. But, it’ll save you from the heartache later of having to sacrifice something you really care about because you didn’t plan ahead in another area.

READ ALSO: Simple Ways to Save on Your Wedding (Without Sacrificing Your Vendors!) 

READ ALSO: Should You Hire a Wedding Planner?

Who’s paying for what?

As you sit down to discuss your budget, it’s also important to discuss who is providing the funds. While more and more couples are starting to pay for their own weddings, traditionally the parents of the bride paid for the wedding and the parents of the groom paid for the rehearsal dinner and honeymoon.

I get it. It’s always awkward talking about money. But, it’s essential to discuss early on who is expected to pay for what throughout the wedding planning process. (Especially if it’s the parents paying!) It will allow everyone to be on the same page throughout the planning process. Not to mention, it will save the drama that would have been inevitable later.

Family Boundaries

It’s sad to say that some families forget that the wedding is about the couple. When you discuss the financial situation behind your wedding, it’s also important to discuss any family boundaries. Are there strings attached with so-and-so paying for ___? Meaning, are they going to expect being an influential part of the decision making process? Discussing family boundaries ahead of time will help you and your fiancé to face decisions (and any family drama) easier as a team.

What elements of your big day do you care about most?

This is mainly a question that you need to ask your groom if he’s anything like mine. When Rob and I were planning our wedding, he didn’t really care to have much of a say about anything. Frankly, he could care less about linen colors, flowers, and what our welcome sign said. What he cared about was simple: what was he eating for dinner, what flavor of groom’s cake he got, and who was taking our photos. (Thank God for one of my best friends in college being a wedding photographer!)

A lot of brides get frustrated because their fiancé isn’t as interested in helping with the wedding planning. But, did you notice how I started that sentence? That means you’re not alone! You know what else? It’s okay! Just because your fiancé is not interested in linen colors, floral arrangements, and stationary doesn’t mean that your future together is doomed. Just remember that guys haven’t exactly been dreaming about the wedding day like we have our whole lives.

Asking him what elements of your big day he cares about will show him how much you care about him. It’s like what I always say about Rob. He didn’t care about much when it came to design with our wedding (and now the design of our home!) So when he does care about something and wants to have an opinion, I want him to have that and be happy.

Happy Planning, friends!
I hope these conversations serve you well as you begin to plan the beginning of your forever together. 

READ ALSO: The Secrets to Planning Your Wedding with Pinterest

READ ALSO: My Advice For the Bride Planning Her Own Wedding

October 4, 2017

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Sweet as Honey Southern Wedding Inspiration // The Barn at Oak Manor Styled Shoot »

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Comments

  1. Alyssa Alley says

    October 4, 2017 at 11:09 pm

    Very good tips! Especially the family boundaries part! It’s amazing to me how many family members might be willing to contribute to your wedding, but some really do expect something in return! Great article!

    Reply
    • cathynugentweddings says

      October 19, 2017 at 1:27 pm

      Thanks, Alyssa! I definitely have seen it a lot (and it honestly makes me really sad!) It is really a serious conversation that I think all couples need to have before they plan their wedding. I think it saves from so much potential drama in the long-run.

      Reply
  2. Jordan | Read. Eat. Repeat. says

    October 5, 2017 at 7:52 pm

    Yes to all of these. I feel like we did a pretty good job of planning our wedding, for two 19 year olds. Looking back 8 years later there’s not much I would change, other than forking it out for a good video. Ours didn’t turn out very well and we almost didn’t get it back at all, but at the time we were looking at price as our primary decision factor. I also wish Pinterest and Instagram had been around back then! I would have been inspired to do more myself, and we could have had a hashtag lol.

    Reply
    • cathynugentweddings says

      October 19, 2017 at 1:30 pm

      I know what you mean! Like I mentioned in the post, I think the only reason we’d do it differently now is just because I’m in the industry and have seen so much of what we could have done! It was overwhelming for us as well as 21 year olds who wanted to make everyone happy. And Yes! Pinterest and Instagram are definitely huge parts of the planning process now! It’s one of those bittersweet kind of things for planning. 🙂

      Reply
  3. Katrina + Every Super Woman says

    October 5, 2017 at 10:22 pm

    This made me reminisce about all things wedding! It was 6 years ago and I wouldn’t change a lot about it. Who’s paying for what was very stressful at the time.

    Reply
    • cathynugentweddings says

      October 19, 2017 at 1:33 pm

      Like I mentioned in the post, I think the only reason we’d do it differently now is just because I’m in the industry and have seen so much of what we could have done! I loved our wedding day though. It was perfect. 🙂 I do agree that financials can be a big stress – that’s why I always suggest talking about it. While it may be awkward, I think it’s best to be open about it!

      Reply
  4. Tasheena @ SimplyTasheena.com says

    October 6, 2017 at 1:10 pm

    Love this post! These are wonderful tips and very important conversations that need to be had prior to wedding planning.

    Reply
    • cathynugentweddings says

      October 19, 2017 at 1:33 pm

      Thank you, Tasheena! I’m so glad that you enjoyed the post. 🙂

      Reply
  5. justine says

    October 6, 2017 at 5:31 pm

    YES! I got married 6 years ago, and all of this still rings (heh, get it?!) true!

    Reply
    • cathynugentweddings says

      October 19, 2017 at 1:34 pm

      HA!! Thank you, Justine. I’m so glad that you agree and enjoyed the post! 🙂

      Reply
  6. Jen Smith says

    October 6, 2017 at 6:29 pm

    The budget convo is SO IMPORTANT. Even more so is sticking to it! Thankfully I had a frugal fiance to hold me accountable 🙂

    Reply
    • cathynugentweddings says

      October 19, 2017 at 1:35 pm

      Amen, girl friend! 🙂 I’m so glad that you agree!

      Reply
  7. Jereann says

    October 6, 2017 at 10:47 pm

    Great advice to make sure you and your fiance are on the same page from the start!

    Reply
    • cathynugentweddings says

      October 19, 2017 at 1:35 pm

      Thank you, Jereann! I am so glad that you agree. 🙂

      Reply

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Atlanta based Award Winning Interior and Event Designer and Home Blogger Cathy Nugent

Hi, friends! I'm Cathy, a nationally published award winning designer of spaces to gather and southern belle writer based out of a small(ish) town outside of Atlanta, Georgia. However, most people know me as the Monica Geller of my friend group – a coffee connoisseur and dog mom with a huge heart for hosting and an eye for design. The heart behind what I do is simple. I want to help you be intentional on creating spaces to gather and celebrating life's precious moments - whether that be weddings, parties, or something as simple as having loved ones in your home. Living Simply, Loving Generously, and Hosting with Heart.

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I’m so excited to have this little gallery wall I’m so excited to have this little gallery wall in our master bedroom done! 👏🏼✨ I’ve got big plans for making over our bedroom (ft. a huge board and batten wall) once little man transitions into his own room next month, but in the meantime I’m working on small touches like this one to make our bedroom more cozy. 

Did you catch my gallery wall tip on Stories today? My biggest tip for gallery wall photos if you’re having trouble picking them out due to different colors/editing/etc in each photo not flowing together 👉🏼 print your photos in black and white! I have a mixture of different photographers’ work as well as my own iPhone photos on the wall, and printing them in black and white helps them all flow together and look more cohesive. It’s such a simple tip that makes a big impact. I hope that helps you if you’re struggling putting together a gallery wall of your own! 💛 #ahostinghome

// linking the gallery wall frames from Amazon on the @liketoknow.it app ➡️ http://liketk.it/39QhW #liketkit @liketoknow.it @liketoknow.it.home #LTKhome
After ripping out our master bathroom shower inser After ripping out our master bathroom shower insert after Christmas due to a leak we discovered — and then facing the shower door debacle and life itself being busy, we are FINALLY getting things moving! (I also told Rob no more hunting trips until it got done. 🤪) Rob is building out a completely new shower, and we should be ready to lay the tile after tomorrow. Y’all know I can’t keep things secret to do big reveals, so I’m dying to share with y’all what I have picked out for the tile. Picture it with me: small hexagon tile for the floor, long subway tile walls (straight on the sides, herringbone along back wall), and penny tile in the niche — all with a light gray grout to tie in our marble tile bathroom floors and paired with black hardware. I’m SO excited to see it come together, I couldn’t help but lay it all out on my kitchen floor with the @ahostinghomepups and the baby to get a peek of it together. 😍 What do y’all think?  #ahostinghome

// linked my tile selections over on the @liketoknow.it app! ➡️ http://liketk.it/39mCg #liketkit @liketoknow.it.home #LTKhome
I was looking through my memories, and can y’all I was looking through my memories, and can y’all believe it’s already been a YEAR since I convinced Rob to let me put a thousand tiny nail holes in our living room wall? I really thought I’d regret it and want to change it after a while. But honestly, I still love it just as much as I did the day I did it. As we come up next month on two years since our son Layne passed away, the visual reminder of what this wall represents when it comes to our story is such a beautiful thing — I feel like it’s literally my heart on a wall, in the heart of my home. If you’ve been following me for a while , you know how much butterflies mean to my story with our son Layne. (If you’re new here, that’s okay! Our story is on my blog if you care to read.💛🦋) I was inspired by @cottonstem ‘s book wall once I got my hands on this @bffprintshop print. I thought having the Amazing Grace music flowing through the print would perfectly represent how worshiping God and running to Jesus has carried us through. && Now with our double rainbow baby here, I look at this wall daily as a reminder of the beautifully hard journey God took us on to bring him home. 🌈👶🏼 So if you’re afraid to put a thousand tiny nails in your wall, I hope you’ll take my advice and just do it. Put your heart on that wall. 💛 #ahostinghome

// p.s. I have a blog post on this sheet music wall if you need the tutorial! ➡️ ahostinghome.com and search ‘sheet music wall’ ✨
Um, can we talk about this beautiful weather tryin Um, can we talk about this beautiful weather trying to act like the whole south didn’t just freeze over last week? ☀️All I want to ask is if it can stay... like, really stay. Soaking it in today with bubs on our walk had me all ready for Spring and looking forward to getting outside in the sunshine and getting our porches ready for patio weather. (Can we skip pollen season though? Mother Nature can keep that mess. ✋🏼) Are you ready for Spring or are you holding onto the last bit of winter coziness? 🪴#ahostinghome
I am a super visual person when it comes to design I am a super visual person when it comes to designing spaces in my home, and I love using design boards as a way to actually plan out my projects. Not only does it help me get inspired for an upcoming project by letting me play with different looks and options. But they also really help me piece things together or ‘see’ what it’s going to look like — and make sure I’m really going to love it! Whenever I share my design boards for projects that I do around here at A Hosting Home, one of the most frequently asked questions I get is about how I make them! Making a design board is super easy, so fun, and it’s one of my favorite parts of planning out a project. Today on the blog, I thought I’d walk through the process to show you how you can make your own (for free!) Get the details ➡️ ahostinghome.com or click the link in my profile bio. ✨ #ahostinghome
This is turning into my favorite spot in little ma This is turning into my favorite spot in little man’s nursery. I moved the tall bookshelf over to make room to add this tiny bookshelf the other day, and I think it’s perfect for all those board books and little toys he’ll one day be grabbing for. We do all open ended style toys and no screens, so I really wanted to create a space for him to explore and discover. I can’t believe he’s already going to be 4 months old on Friday! The dude loves to play and is itching to be on the move already. I love watching him grow and experiencing the world through his eyes! 🤍✨ #ahostinghome 

// http://liketk.it/38Cqe #liketkit @liketoknow.it @liketoknow.it.home @liketoknow.it.family #LTKbaby #LTKkids #LTKhome #ltkfamily
Instagram: Reality: I have to now explain to my h Instagram: 
Reality: I have to now explain to my husband why our baby and rug are stained red...

Happy 1st Valentine’s Day from John Robert! ❤️💋 This little man of ours is so extremely loved from head to toe. I hope y’all are having an amazing weekend!

#ahostinghome // http://liketk.it/38n1a @liketoknow.it #liketkit @liketoknow.it.family #LTKVDay #LTKbaby
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// linked this Office themed party decorating kit I got from Amazon on the @liketoknow.it app! Under $20! 🙌🏼🎉 http://liketk.it/38g2t #liketkit @liketoknow.it.home #LTKunder50 #LTKhome #StayHomeWithLTK

#theoffice #theofficeus #theofficeparty #officethemedparty @msjennafischer @angelakinsey @mindykaling @johnkrasinski @rainnwilson
I don’t typically do a Valentine’s specific ta I don’t typically do a Valentine’s specific tablescape each year, but I still love this flirty and cute wildflower inspired tablescape I put together a couple years ago — I think it would be so cute for Valentine’s (or Galentine’s!) day! 💕

One of the questions that I get the most often when decorating with faux stems is how I make it all come together cohesively and look natural. My biggest tip for this would be to walk around and actually match stem colors as you are shopping! For example, when putting together floral for this tablescape, I literally walked up and down the floral bins at Hobby Lobby with those white daisies in my hand to see which stems had the same pale green look to match. If they matched, I pulled them out and put them aside. To make sure everything pieces together how I want it to before I drive all the way home, I literally walk up and down the floral aisles of Hobby Lobby and put everything together. I make mini bouquets from the stems I pulled to see how they would look together and to see exactly how many of each stem I would need. As a designer, I’m a very hands on and visual person. While I sometimes have a base plan going in, I like to play with it in person to see what gets me excited and how I could make it even better. ✨

For more tips about decorating with faux floral, I’ve got an entire post up on my blog! ➡️ ahostinghome.com and search ‘faux floral tips’ 🌸 #ahostinghome

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