I remember it like it was yesterday when I got a text from a sweet friend of mine asking me how I stopped myself from having a panic attack when I realized I was only so many days away from the biggest day of my life. It made me smile. Not because I was happy to see my friend freaking out, but more because I couldn’t really remember how I managed to handle myself for a whole 14 months of engagement.
So to be honest, I wasn’t really sure. I could’ve given the ‘Mom Advice’ and said “Take a deep breath, have a good cry, go to sleep early, make a strong pot of coffee, then tackle it hard tomorrow!” Or I could’ve given the ‘Cathy Advice’ and said “I think you need a drink”. Let’s humor me and go with the Cathy Advice. So grab your day drinking glass, and pour some rose, because here are 9 times when wine will get you through wedding planning. (Hint: It’s all the time.)
1. When you start planning and everything is going smoothly
YAY! You’re engaged! This is such an exciting moment in your life, and you’ve probably been dreaming about it since you were a freshman in college seeing all of your older Facebook friends getting engaged on your timeline. Time to celebrate! When you get engaged, I think it’s safe to say wine just is a part that comes with it — considering Rob and I got about 10 bottles of wine and champagne as part of gifts at our engagement party alone. I get it, there’s nothing more fun than looking through bridal magazines while drinking wine out of your does-this-ring-make-me-look-engaged mug in your feyonce t-shirt and yoga pants. (Because who actually does yoga in yoga pants anymore?) I’ve totally been there, done that.
Side Note: If you’re reading this and recently engaged, CONGRATULATIONS sister friend!!
2. When your bridal party complains at every dress style and won’t agree on anything
I am a believer of a lot of things in life, and one of those things is that they should serve wine to brides at dress shops as their bridal party piles into dressing rooms to try on literally every single dress on the rack. I’m telling you, I’ve been there as both a bridesmaid and a bride. (and as a bridesmaid I even thought I needed a drink!) But when it comes to them arguing over the style or color of dress to be worn because Susie doesn’t think she looks good in strapless and Tiffany hates periwinkle, to be honest, I don’t think the bridal party should be making the decision anyways. Call me what you want, but I was a firm believer that it was my day, and with me being a wedding planner I had a specific look that I was going for. When it’s their turn to have arguing bridesmaids, they’ll wish they would have just made the decision rather than releasing the hounds and watching a blood bath. (You may even get a text asking how you put up with it!)
3. Then when they look at you to pick sides like they’re shooting eye darts
At this point, you’re probably sinking in your chair while sipping on your wine acting like you have no idea what they are arguing about. Like I said, I believe that it’s the bride’s choice when it comes to every little thing that has to do with her big day. That’s why it’s HER big day, and not her BFF Jill’s. My advice to brides would be to do some research before you go dress shopping with your bridal party. Have specific styles and colors picked out so that you can wrangle and direct your wild pack of 9 bridesmaids. Then, make a firm decision based on what YOU want and stick with it. I can guarantee the Susie isn’t going to care if you don’t like strapless gowns when it comes time for her wedding. That’s just not how it works.
4. When your bridal party never answers group texts… or texts in general
Every bride I have talked to has gone through this, so don’t feel like you are the only one. I think it’s just one of those things that happens when you have a bridal party. People have their own lives, are spread out (especially if you’re in college or just graduated college), get busy, and sometimes (if they’re on the bitter side from being the only friend not engaged) have a hard time being at your every beckoning call. When you’re planning your bridal party I think it’s just important to realize that if you think coordinating schedules is hard enough for 2 people sometimes, imagine 9.
Really anything having to do with your bridal party…
I laughed while writing this because I am writing based on horror stories I have witnessed or heard about, but I think I should make it clear (especially if any of my bridal party is reading this), that I had a pretty good bridal party that didn’t put me through such hell and back.
5. When there are too many options for vendors and you’re extremely indecisive
When it comes to wedding vendors, there are almost too many to count. I get it, even in College Station I was a tad overwhelmed with my own wedding when it came to looking up venues, caterers, and DJs. I can’t imagine what some brides may feel like getting married in a larger city like Dallas, Houston, and Atlanta. I think this is where it is especially helpful to have a wedding planner. While there are hundreds of vendors in your area, they also specialize in different styles and weddings. Having a wedding planner you trust with your wedding vision will help you narrow down your options to a select few that would be the best fit for your unique wedding vision and style. If you’re determined to plan your wedding on your own, I’d suggest looking up your local bridal association as well as attending a local bridal show. Attending a bridal show will give you face time with vendors and allow you to ask questions about their specialities to see if it’s a good fit for your big day.
6. When your to-do list keeps getting longer because you’ve convinced everyone else “It’s okay, I can do it”
Trust me, I get it. I am extremely Type A and loved to have my hands on every aspect of my wedding day to make sure it was done the way I wanted and according to my vision. For brides, it’s important to realize one thing though: it’s okay to let go. Hire a wedding planner. (I bet you can tell why just based off my blog posts!) Let your mom help you do the thing she keeps asking you about, trust me she wants to be included in your planning as much as possible! Like I told my friend who texted me, get done what you can and what’s most important to you, and whatever doesn’t get done no one will know the difference anyways except for yourself. They will still be in awe of you because you’re going to be the most beautiful bride!
7. When your fiance won’t help with the guest list… or really ever give an opinion
Ladies, you’re not alone! When I was getting married, my husband really wanted nothing to do with any of the wedding details. (Except cake and food, of course!) We were long distance about half of our engagement, so he didn’t want to spend the time we got to spend together or talk to one another to be taken over by which linens matched best with the napkins and which flowers complimented the cake more. Honestly, there’s really nothing bad about it. It’s almost normal I think. It doesn’t mean that he’s not excited for your big day – it just means he obviously cares more about hunting and fishing than which china he’s going to be eating dinner on at the reception. I can guarantee, though, he will be in attendance at at least two vendor appointments: Caterer and Cake tastings.
8. When your vendor forgot to do _______ or tell you _______ and it’s a week before the wedding
I had several run ins with this in planning my own wedding. I’ve had the cake lady forget to disclose that she wasn’t providing the cake stand, and I’ve had the caterer forget to add on the cake china and appetizers for cocktail hour. This is why it’s extremely important to have a wedding planner or day-of coordinator to go back and double check with vendors to make sure that you are on the same page with and to make sure there is nothing missing! Nothing would make me want to have a drink more than running around to find plates at the reception because the dessert china was left off the order.
9. When the wedding is over and you’re finally married!
YAY! You made it! You’re alive! And you’re married! Pop the champagne!
Regardless of which wine stage in your engagement you are facing, I think it’s important for brides to take a step back and remember the reason they are planning the wedding in the first place: you’re getting married! You found that one person to annoy with your presence for the rest of your life, and they are willing to put up with your crazy while you plan this big day of yours. Regardless of what happens, what gets planned, or how it goes the most important thing stays the same… you’ll be married to the one your soul loves and longs for! (But it’s okay to have a little drink in the process!)